Sasuke's Kage
by Madork Gunna
Summary: An AU Sasuke winds up in the 'normal' Narutoverse along with his OC buddy, this version is actually likeable! How will everyone cope? Note that the AU Sasuke is -very- AU.
1. The Kage Arrives

**AN: **My first story, I hope you like it. The title is 'Sasuke's Kage' because of the meaning of 'Kage'. 'Kage' doesn't only mean 'shadow', it also means 'reflection' or 'outline'. This AU Sasuke only has the same 'outline', that is to say, the same body, but is completely different mentally, because he had parents who cared for him, not how powerful he was and whose main lesson in life was: enjoy life to the fullest. As a result of this, both Sasuke and Itachi developed a completely different attitude in which gaining power was trivial compared to having fun. The story starts at the beginning of the Team 10 vs Hidan and Kakazu arc. **This is the revised chapter 1. I am not going to change this anymore, makes for a better mental health (for me in any case). Anything that is wrong here is, for as far as I am concerned, wrong for good. **_Except spelling. One can always- _**Even spelling.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any other character than K.U.

**Sasuke's Kage**

**1. The Kage arrives**

Sasuke opened his eyes, but could only make out fuzzy outlines. Something white ...an angel? Damn, he had died.

"Come on, get up!" the angel said to him in K.U.'s voice.

"Just leave me for now, I'll be fine in a minute or so." Sasuke closed his eyes. He wondered if you could get supercars in heaven. He asked the angel. Silence. The angel spoke again, but softer, as if to him/her self.

"Note to self: Be more careful with morphine." Sasuke opened his eyes in surprise. You got drugged when you entered heaven? Wow. He suddenly realised that he was lying in the escape pod and was wearing bandages on his head. He looked at K.U., who was sitting next to him on the bench, holding a small vial. The sleek infiltrator robot dumped the vial in an open medical kit before saying

"Sorry to interrupt your dreams, but I got something rather distressing to tell you. Might as well get it over with right now, cause we ain't going anywhere anytime soon. You want to hear the bright side before or after?" Sasuke thought about it for a second, then said:

"Just tell me if we completed the mission." Sasuke said. K.U. sighed, then continued:

"Okay, that means good news first: we completed the mission successfully and got away with our lives. Now the bad news: We are lost in another universe, with no way to get back. We're in orbit over a habitable planet, and I want to descend as soon as you're ready." Sasuke blinked. Another universe? Didn't that mean that they screwed up somewhere? They were supposed to stay in the same universe, weren't they? Then what the hell happened? It didn't help that his head was spinning like a jet-powered ferris wheel with elevator ambitions. Sasuke groaned. This needed time to sink in. Time and preferably alcohol.

"There is also one other thing you should probably know." K.U. said.

"As in?"

"We each have a new form."

Sasuke looked up at K.U.

"You don't seem so different." he said.

"Well, on the outside yes, but on the inside I've changed somewhat. Dunno how much though. Now you, on the other hand, have changed. A lot."

"Define 'changed'."

"You have a chick's body."

"WHAT?!" Sasuke shot up and checked himself over. He was still male.

"What the hell? Since when did you start lying to people?"

"Since it makes me feel good. Told you I'd changed." K.U. said deadpan. He continued, "Seriously though, you have been rejuvenated somehow. To about sixteen years old by the looks of it."

----

Two weeks later. K.U. looked at his partner. Sasuke was in the back getting stone drunk on the ships supply of medical alcohol. He'd finally announced that he was ready to see their new home, but he had posed one condition: he had to drink all of the ships alcohol before they landed. When K.U. had asked why, he had answered:

"If itsh a good (hic) planee it'll have booze, if its a bad one at leasht (hic) they can't shteal my drinksh." After which the boy had hiccuped and fallen asleep. K.U. had been unsure at first. He didn't want to make a bad impression on whomever they met. On the other hand, Sasuke was actually less prone to offend someone when drunk. In the end, Sasuke decided for him by starting to drink all the alcohol on board after his nap. K.U. looked back at the controls. The pods sensors were fried, but the planet below looked enough like a habitable one to take the risk. He finished his check-up and called back to Sasuke

"You ready?"

"Almosh.*hiccup*" After five more minutes, Sasuke walked (sort of) into the cockpit with two cups in his hand. He handed one to K.U. and kept the other to himself.

"Lesh toasht" Without waiting for K.U. Sasuke drained his cup. K.U. looked at the cup. Sasuke saw him looking and said:

"Don't worry, thash (hic) engine oil. Ish good for you." K.U. analysed the drink, not trusting Sasuke could even find his own feet at the moment. It was indeed engine oil.

----

Naruto was tired. After dinner at Ichiraku's, he decided to train till he was tired and then go home. He was lying down in the field he had trained in, and was just watching the stars. He noticed one that was moving. He rubbed his tired eyes. He wasn't seeing things. It really was moving from side to side! Naruto had seen shooting stars before, and even one that had actually hit the ground, but never had he seen one change directions.

"Oy! Captain Yamato! Look at that!" he shouted, pointing to the star

----

K.U. was pleased. The sweeping turns had slowed them down enough to deploy the slats. Going straight again, he flicked a switch, and metal plates extended out of the hull, decreasing their speed even more.

----

As Naruto watched, the star suddenly stopped moving. It was merely getting bigger. "SHIT!" Naruto shouted as he ran for cover. The star getting bigger meant that it was headed straight for him! He had to get out of here, fast! Naruto had seen the crater left by a star no bigger than his head. He didn't plan to hang around long enough to find out what size this one was.

----

K.U. searched for a landing site. He spotted a field that would do just fine. Looking over at Sasuke, he saw that miraculously the youngster had actually managed to buckle up. K.U. released the parachutes.

"Ready to check out our new home?" he asked.

"Shure, lesh (hic) do thish" Sasuke slurred.

----

Naruto glanced back, still running, and stopped. The star was now going so slow, he could see its outlines. He watched in amazement as the star got a silvery-grey colour. It was shaped like an arrowhead, with two small tubes protruding out on either side of the large tube in the middle. It had several blackened stains on it, as if it had been burned. As he watched, two large pieces of cloth unfolded, slowing the...thing down even more. Fascinated, but still a bit scared, he walked towards where the star was heading. As he walked he knew others would be rapidly closing in on his position. The star would have been visible to everyone within a hundred miles of course. As he watched, the star crashed into a tree, leaving a sad stump in its wake. It then 'landed' in Naruto's training field. Naruto nearly winced as the broad V-shape tore up the grass and ruined the field. _'Damn, I tried so hard to keep that field free of craters, and now its torn up!' _He sighed. _'Guess life is playing her favourite little game of 'Up yours, Uzumaki Naruto' again'_

The star had by now come to a complete standstill in the field. Curiously, Naruto walked to the edge of the crater.

"Careful, Naruto! We don't know what that thing is." Yamato warned, but Naruto wasn't listening. The star wasn't made of stone as he first thought, but rather some sort of steel. Naruto sensed a small group approaching. He could hear them shouting their names. He waited for them to appear. Soon several ninjas that Naruto guessed had been on guard that night came into view, team 8 among them. He waved to them.

"Over here guys. Look what I found!" Naruto shouted cheerfully. Suddenly, the star made a thumping noise, as if something had bumped into it. Everyone jumped to the rim of the crater and pulled out a kunai.

----

The landing went well, until K.U. tried to deploy the landing gear. The pod had taken a bad beating, from what he didn't know. The landing gear wouldn't deploy, so they had just crash landed in the field. K.U. was glad it was the only thing to go wrong during descent. Well, that and the fact that at the moment he was hanging from the floor, which had become the ceiling. Sasuke was beneath him in a crumpled heap, having removed his safety harness before checking which way was up. As he climbed down, he checked on Sasuke.

"You OK, meatbag? Told you to wait till you got your bearings."

"Shaddup."

K.U. sighed, or did something akin to sighing (its hard to tell if one doesn't breathe at all normally).

"Look, it wasn't my idea to get you stone drunk before taking an extremely bumpy ride!"

"Jush open tha damn door" He decided to leave Sasuke to pick himself up, and headed for the door.

----

Outside, the leaf ninja were slowly and cautiously approaching the star again. Aside from the thump, it had remained silent and still, with no indication of doing something anytime soon. Naruto was closest, not seeing anything threatening come out, and he was dying to know what made the noise earlier. Just then, it hissed loudly, and it moved. A lid at the back opened up, making a screeching sound, like metal grinding over metal. Naruto jumped back, trying to see where he was going and keep watching at the same time. Failing, he tripped and landed on his rear, just watching the star. The lid was protesting, but it finally opened completely. Naruto's eyes widened as he saw something _moving inside the star!!_ A pure white figure stood in the doorway. Long, birdlike legs supported a roughly humanoid body. Overlapping metallic plates formed the torso. Three short, narrow tubes stood on pedestals on either shoulder. The figure appeared to be wearing a cape. However, its most striking feature was its face, or rather lack thereof. It was completely oval, with a bulge protruding out where the mouth and nose should be. Two ridges followed the jawline to the bulge, and instead of eyes there was a flattened V-shaped visor with two blue orbs in it. It showed them its palms. With a booming, distorted voice, it said:

"**Do not fear. I come in peace**" Naruto didn't lower his weapon, but his gaze sought out the others. None of them had ever seen anything remotely like this before. Suddenly another voice shouted from inside of the star.

"K.U., shpeak normal, damn you (hic)." Naruto knew that voice from somewhere. The figure, apparently called Kay-Yu, turned and and shouted back in a normal voice

"Shut up. I handle diplomacy here, remember?"

"Whatever" came the slurred reply "I'm gonna go puke". The remark was followed by retching sounds. The one called Kay-Yu sweatdropped as he looked back at the leaf nin.

----

K.U. was silently cursing Sasuke for ruining his little show. Oh well, it wasn't that unexpected. He continued his speech in a normal voice now:

"Ahem. Please excuse my partner, he's too drunk to stand now."

"No, I'm not!" Sasuke protested loudly between retches. K.U. turned to Sasuke

"Will you shut up, _please_!? I'm trying to make a good impression here. In case you forgot: we're stuck here remember?" He turned back to the locals.

"I meant what I said earlier. We don't mean any harm, but I'm afraid we cannot leave." He pointed to he pod. "This isn't going anywhere anymore. My partner and I are more than willing to do any work you have for us in return for letting us stay." He looked at Sasuke again.

"That is, if he's sobered up again. I wouldn't trust him enough to find the floor at the moment.". K.U. looked at the locals, trying to gauge their reaction. Sasuke was finally making his way to the front of the pod. The initial effect of the alcohol was wearing off, and he could fall asleep any second now. Sasuke stumbled out into view, and the faces of the locals suddenly changed. K.U. had no idea what was going on, but he knew that Sasuke's appearance had probably marked their death sentence. Sasuke was to drunk to notice the hostility in the air, or misinterpreted it. Whatever the case, he waved cheerfully, nearly falling over.

"Hey guysh, I'm (hic) Uchiha Sasuke." He squinted as he saw some familiar faces.

"Naruto? Zat you?" He walked to where Naruto was still sitting and fell down next to him. "Sho I'm not alone (hic) in zish univershe. Wheresh the resh? Oh hey Shino." Sasuke nodded at Shino.

"Long zime no shee (hic) howsh ya doin? I'd like tar give drinksh all (hic) round, but I drank everyzing we had. Unlesh you brought shome?" he asked, looking at them questioningly. It finally dawned on his drunken mind that nobody had given him a hearty welcome hug, or said hello, or, for that matter, anything at all. They just stood there, watching him with expressions of disbelief, confusion or downright hate.

"Wasshup, shomethim on ma fashe?" Sasuke asked in drunken confusion. After a pause, Naruto finally answered, with hate in his voice.

"Sasuke...You...Bastard...YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID!!!" Sasuke looked even more confused.

"Whashit shomezing I said?"

"DON'T F*** WITH ME YOU BASTARD!" Naruto shouted as he jumped up and prepared to slam down on Sasuke. Sasuke just gave him a disgusted look.

"F*** wiz you? Yuck! I'm a boy too! Beshidesh (hic) don't you have girlfriend?" He looked round and spotted Hinata.

"There she izz (Hiccup)" Sasuke tried to get up, accidentally side stepping Naruto's punch. The resulting blast of air made him trip, knocking him of his feet. K.U. decided that enough was enough. Whatever the Sasuke of this universe had done, it made everyone present want to kill him on sight.

"EY!! vot ze f*." Sasuke's rant was cut short as he was punched in the face by Naruto. Naruto tried to follow up with more attacks, but the flurry of kicks and punches was blocked by K.U.

"Please, calm down! I don't know what Sasuke has done in this universe, just believe me when I say its not the same guy lying here!" K.U. said as he continued to block the barrage of attacks. Naruto paused and snarled

"Why should I believe you?" K.U. stopped in a position focused on defence. "I don't have any other evidence than my word." K.U. said, glancing from left to right, trying to keep an eye on everyone at the same time. If they all decided to attack him, he would be hard pressed to keep Sasuke alive and escape at the same time. The fact that he couldn't kill anyone didn't help either.

----

"You'll just have to believe me. If we wanted to attack, wouldn't we have done so already? And why would I allow him to get drunk if we had evil intentions?" K.U. nodded to Sasuke, who was knocked unconscious because of Naruto's punch and the alcohol. Naruto backed down, still clenching his fists.

"Alright. But don't try anything funny" Naruto turned to Yamato. "Orders?"

Yamato shook his head, finally breaking the spell everyone was under. Confusion was everywhere.

"Sasuke?"

"No, can't be."

"Who is that then?"

Yamato sighed. It just couldn't be easy, could it?

"Okay, calm down. I'm not completely sure myself what's going on, but it would appear we have two prisoners to take back. Okay, Kiba, take the Sasuke-lookalike. Naruto, Shino, you're with Kay-Yu. Hinata, use your Byakugan to make sure they're not going to try anything. Line formation to the hospital." Yamato turned to the other guards. "One of you, go warn the Hokage. The rest, back to your stations."

He turned and signalled the others to follow, leaving the remaining guards to draw straws. Later, the unlucky man who had drawn the shortest straw could be seen flying out of the hokage tower, while a very pissed Tsunade went to see the new prisoners.

* * *

Please note that this chapter is part of a rewriting I'm doing on this story, so don't tell me the continuity is off. I know.


	2. An interrogation, sort of

**AN:** I only own K.U., all other characters are not mine, never have been, probably never will be. **This is the revised chapter 2. See the note in chapter one.**

**----**

**2. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.**

Tsunade burst into the room, and she saw Sasuke lying down on a hospital bed, with Sakura standing next to him. K.U. was sitting on the other bed with Yamato guarding him

"Okay Sakura, please tell me this is not what I think it is." Tsunade said.

Without looking up Sakura said, "It isn't what you think it is."

Tsunade cocked her head to the side. "Really?"

"Well, if you're thinking that Sasuke has returned to us from Orichimaru's clutches, then, yes, really, it isn't what you think it is" Sakura looked up, tears having left marks on her cheeks. "It just looks like it so much it hurts."

"Are you okay?" Tsunade asked concerned. She was very much aware of her apprentice's feelings towards Sasuke. Sakura rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Tsunade didn't think so, but she concentrated on the task at hand. "How is he?"

Sakura handed her a chart showing statistics of Sasuke's body. "Physically, he's fine with the exception of his blood alcohol levels which are off the charts" She glared at K.U.

K.U. was programmed to be fearless, but he swore he felt something when the pink-haired girl glared at him like that. "What? I already told you, I can't stop him if he orders me to stand down." he said unhappily.

Tsunade went over the list quickly. "Alright. Tell Ibiki to stand by, I want him to interrogate this man as soon as he wakes up."

K.U. said, "Ibiki's the guy that interrogated me right? If I may make a suggestion, I know a way to make Sasuke talk a lot quicker."

Tsunade's eyes narrowed. "I thought this wasn't Sasuke?"

"I already explained that we're from another universe. Cyclops here seemed to understand." K.U. pointed at Kakashi.

Kakashi explained to Tsunade, "During the mission to retrieve Gaara, I used a technique that sucks the target into another universe. Apparently, these two got hit by a similar attack, and got sent to this universe. At least, according to him." He pointed with his kunai at K.U. Tsunade nodded.

"Alright, you said you had a suggestion?" She said, as she turned to K.U. "Yes. You see, if you interrogate Sasuke in the way you interrogated me, he'll clamp shut instinctively. My way, he'll tell you everything you want to know, and even stuff you don't want to know." Tsunade raised her eyebrows. "What kind of interrogation are you talking about?"

K.U. wished he could grin.

----

"Testing, testing. Thumbs up to the camera if you can hear me." K.U. said through the mike. On one of the screens in the control room Ino could be seen, giving a thumbs up. "Excellent. Okay, we're all set. Asas should wake up anytime now." K.U. was sitting in a small room which housed the hospital's observatory, in which a nurse could keep watch over multiple patients at once. One of the monitors had been rigged and now showed one of the rooms instead of data. Lying down on the bed was Alternate Sasuke, which was how he had been dubbed after everyone understood (sort of) his origins, or Asas for short. He was tied down in a normal hospital gown, and Ino was standing next to him, with her earrings modified to carry an earpiece. In the observatory K.U. was sitting in front of the screen with Ibiki and Tsunade. Tsunade didn't like this one bit, but K.U. was adamant that this was the fastest way to get Asas talking. On screen Asas started to stir. K.U. rubbed his claws together. "Alright, here we go." Looking at the monitor, K.U. nearly chuckled _'Asas, my little meatbag, I ain't __ever__ gonna let you forget this.'_

Asas had a headache. _'Ow. Why the hell did I drink so much?' _

The events of the past weeks returned slowly.

'_Oh yeah.' _

He slowly opened his eyes, and found that he couldn't focus. Oh well, considering how much he had drunk he should be glad to be alive. Just then something moved in the corner of his eye. Turning his head he saw a blond girl wearing something purple (he couldn't tell what, his eyes still weren't focused).

"Hey" he said groggily.

"Are you... Are you an angel?" The girl giggled. "No, but thanks for the compliment."

----

In the observatory K.U. said, "Don't need to thank him for that, he asks that every time he wakes up after a knock-out. He hopes that one day he'll get lucky and get a 'yes'."

----

Back in the room, Asas tried to get up, and then noticed that he had been tied down.

"Hey, what's the big idea tying me down? What did I do? I'm sorry, I was drunk okay!"

The blonde tried to calm him down. "Calm down, don't worry, you didn't do anything. This is just a precaution, we didn't know if you had evil intentions or not. I hope your not angry?"

Asas calmed down a little.

"Oh well, being tied down in a room with a beautiful woman... I've been through a lot worse." Asas smiled, and then he looked curiously at the girl.

"Excuse me, but where is K.U.?"

"The steel man? I don't like him, he's scary."

Asas chuckled. Knowing K.U., he'd probably have used the boomy voice again once Asas was unconscious. "Yeah, that sounds like K.U. alright. I hope he's not causing to much trouble."

Asas remembered that he was in a bed that wasn't his. Apologetically, he said, "I'm not causing you any trouble am I?"

The girl smiled. "No, but thanks for asking."

Asas smiled again and rested his head in the pillow.

"How are you feeling?" the girl asked.

Asas groaned. "Like someone dropped a hammer on my head." He stretched his muscles experimentally. "Other than that, fine. What the hell happened?"

The blonde seemed a bit surprised by this question. "You don't remember?"

Asas shook his head. "Nope. Last bit I remember was that I was drinking diluted medical alcohol aboard the escape pod."

"The what?"

"You know, big steel dart thing. Didn't I and K.U. arrive in that?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

Asas was surprised by this. "Then how did I get here?"

"You were brought here unconscious. I was told to watch over you while our leader contemplates what to do with you. You sure you don't remember anything?"

Asas closed his eyes, and tried to recap the past three weeks. He had a clear memory till they had blown up the alien superweapon. "Well, I remember the mission till the point where we tried to make our escape, after that its a blur."

"What mission?"

"Long story"

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

"Well..." Asas looked at the girl. Heck, it wasn't as if he had anything else to do.

"Okay. Make yourself comfortable, I meant it when I said long story."

----

_Flashback_

_ The stream of pure energy cast flickering shadows in the small control room Sasuke was standing in. He thought it was pretty, but he knew that the energy could spell doom for his home. Sasuke looked at the nameplates in his hand. 'You won't have died for nothing' he thought, as he clenched them in his fist. Looking over the control panel in front of him, he put the plastic explosive in the proper position and left quickly. The plan was to escape using the aliens own escape pods and get to the rendezvous point where an earth vessel would pick them up. As he left the room, he signalled his partner that he was done. "Time is short" K.U. said in a monotone voice "Shut up" Sasuke snapped back. Out of all the partners he could have got, he got K.U.. He had been one of the alien infiltrator robots, but had been captured and reprogrammed to fight on the side of mankind. Unfortunately, the engineers had problems adapting the built in personalities of the damn things, so the robots could be an extreme pain in the ass sometimes. Their knowledge of the alien tactics and designs were invaluable however, so they were generally accepted as good fighters. They made it to the escape pods in time. Relief flooded Sasuke as he saw that most were gone, and Shikamaru was standing guard outside the last two, rifle aimed at the corridor from which they came. Seeing Sasuke, he lowered his weapon. "Sasuke, K.U., good to see you both in one piece. I'm sorry, but you're not leaving immediately. Naruto and Shino haven't reported in yet, and I'm worried. Their group was ambushed, last I heard they had escaped, and were trying to reach their objective. I'm staying here to guard the pods, hurry!" Sasuke was off before he finished. He and Naruto had been friends for as long as he could remember, and Shino might've acted a little odd when they first met, but he was a good friend, who had saved his life more than once._

_----_

_ He found them in a hallway that had been blasted to pieces by a vicious firefight. Shino was lying in a pool of blood next to an alien that had been cut in half. Naruto was wounded, sitting against what was left of the wall. Sasuke hurried over to Shino, checking his vital signs. He sighed in relief. He then checked on Naruto. "I'm okay, really! Just get Shino to safety, I got a little something to deliver." Naruto waved the explosive pack in his hand. "Oh no, that's my job now." Sasuke snatched the package from Naruto's hand, but stopped. He first had to get the wounded to safety. "K.U. take Shino and follow me!" Sasuke picked up the loudly protesting Naruto, and ran to the escape pods. "Naruto, Shino! Sasuke, the enemy?" Sasuke put Naruto in the pod that was carrying Shikamaru's squad, and answered: "No sign of them, but we can't possibly have killed them all." He showed Shikamaru the explosive pack. "Got this to deliver. Get the hell out of here, I'll use the remaining explosives to finish the job, trust me." Shikamaru looked at him. "You sure you'll be okay?" Shikamaru's primary concern were the wounded in the pod, but if this mission failed, then where would the wounded go? "Sure. K.U. can watch the escape pods, and I'm pretty good at sneaking around" "Sorry, but I can't let you go on your own. I OOF!" Sasuke had kicked Shikamaru in the stomach. Shikamaru fell backwards into the pod. Quickly, he tried to get back up, but Sasuke had already closed the door. He could hear the whoosh of the pods ejection engines, and soon the ship was nothing more then a dot in the distance, among several others that were busy shooting the crap out of each other. Shikamaru cursed, and went to the cockpit. There was nothing he could do for Sasuke now, so he would just have to trust him to do his thing._

_----_

_ "Mission completed?" K.U. asked._

"_Oh well, you know me." Sasuke said as he caught his breath again._

"_Of course. Why do you think I'm asking?" K.U. said. Sasuke was about to give a snappy retort when K.U. signed for silence. Sasuke shut his mouth and listened intensely. He could hear them approaching, but from where? They quietly boarded the final escape pod and just as they closed the door the aliens entered. Sasuke couldn't resist. "Yo, ugly! Got a little surprise for ya all!" he shouted as he tossed a grenade among them. The door closed completely, just as something thumped on the door. Looking out the window, he saw a brown package had stuck to the door. He quickly pressed the eject button. The pod launched itself clear of the huge vessel. Sasuke grabbed the remote of the planted explosives and pressed detonate. He didn't worry about the explosive attached to the pod. These things were built to survive a crash-landing on a magma-world, a little explosion wouldn't damage them. He hoped. He watched the countdown. 3. 2. 1. The entire pod was engulfed in flames as the explosive package exploded._

_----_

_ It was only afterwards that Sasuke realised what had happened. Their mission had been to destroy Kronos, an alien superweapon en route to Earth. The ship was a cannon that ripped apart the time-space continuum at its target location, sucking it into another dimension. Destroying it in a standard space battle was pretty much impossible, because if the energies contained were unleashed in an uncontrolled way, an entire section of space, along with everyone in it, would also get sucked into another dimension. The only way to destroy the weapon would be to board the vessel, plant charges with finely calculated amounts of high explosive at equally finely calculated positions, and then blow it up. Unfortunately, the aliens had removed some of the charges, disrupting the planned sequence. They had been swallowed by the rip, and had washed up in this universe. It had been three weeks before they finally decided to land here._

_----_

The interrogation didn't go exactly as K.U. had predicted. He'd known Asas long enough to know that the human wouldn't break under pressure, but have him talk to a pretty female and presto; he'd tell you everything you ever wanted to know and more. Far more. Aside from the embarrassing stories and flirting with Ino though, Asas answered pretty much every question the Tsunade woman wanted answered. He spun around in the swivel chair he was sitting in, waiting while Tsunade was talking to her advisors about what to do with them. In the meantime he had to wait in the observatory while being guarded by Ibiki. Bored with spinning circles, he turned to Ibiki, who was just watching him with his interrogator stare.

"You know that looking at me like that wont do anything."

Ibiki didn't even blink, he just stared.

K.U. scanned the man's brain out of sheer boredom. He blinked. The guy was asleep! An idea formed in K.U.'s mind. After he was done, he wished he could grin. Then again, that might give away the fact that he'd done something.

----

Tsunade rubbed her temples. It had been one of those days that she wondered why on earth she'd accepted the job of hokage. After a long inner debate she had decided to accept the two strangers into the village, provided they passed certain tests. Now she had to break the news to the counsel of Konoha, and that was the reason she was having a headache right now. They would want to know every little detail, as usual, which would leave her completely wrung out and cranky, as usual.

Trying to postpone the impending questioning, she decided to inform the two newcomers first. She went to the hospital, where she went to the room Asas was counting the tiles of the ceiling for lack of something else to do. She'd pulled Ino out as soon as Asas had told everything she wanted to know, leaving him very bored.

As she entered, she signalled to the hidden camera for Ibiki to bring K.U. over. Asas noticed the movement.

"What did you do that for?"

"Hm? What?"

Asas rolled his eyes and went back to counting ceiling tiles.

In a bored tone, he said, "What you did with your hand. It looked like you were batting away a fly, except there was no fly, and your thumb was touching your palm, which means that you were signalling to someone. To who and what I don't know. Which brings me back to my original question: What did you do that for?"

Tsunade looked at the youngster, who was annoyed by the fact that the tiles ran out every time he hit sixty-four.

"You're a good observer" she remarked.

He shrugged. "You have to be. If you don't learn fast enough, you die."

Tsunade sat down next to him.

"Want to talk about it?"

Tsunade had seen war before, and knew that one couldn't leave it without a badly scarred soul. Asas shook his head.

"No."

Tsunade shrugged. "They're your nightmares." She released the ropes.

----

Asas could hear laughter from outside the door, which was suddenly interrupted by someone bellowing "**I'M GOING TO ****KILL**** YOU**".

Ah, sounded like K.U. was already making friends. Sure enough, he entered the room seconds later head first. After him came a big burly looking man with a scar. The burly man would be extremely intimidating, had he not had childish pictures on his face, and 'I'M STUPID' in large block lettering on his forehead. Picking up K.U., the man started to ram his head against the wall, while saying

"YOU *ram* LITTLE *ram* SONNOVA *ram* B(...) *ram* I'M *ram* GONNA"

At this point the wall gave away, and K.U.'s head was stuck in another room. From the screams coming from the other side, Asas deduced that it was probably occupied. Whatever Burly Man still wanted to say was cut short as he received an uppercut that smashed his head through the wall as well.

In the other room, K.U. was surprised to be joined by Ibiki. Tilting his head he said "Not that I mind the company, but who the hell put you there?" Meanwhile the nurse who had been cleaning till K.U.'s unconventional entry fainted. He sighed. "Oh well, she's shut up at least."

Meanwhile in the other room Tsunade cracked her knuckles, glad that she finally could vent her anger on somebody. She turned to Asas, who had paled considerably at the amount of strength she had displayed when she rammed Ibiki through the wall.

"Now that your partner is here..." She glanced at K.U., who was trying unsuccessfully to pull his head back out. "Well most of him at least."

"I'm going to announce my decision. The both of you will be allowed to stay here and become citizens of this village, provided you meet certain conditions and pass certain tests."

"Okay, pass some tests, fine with me." Asas said. He walked over to K.U. "Alright tin man, lets see if I can't get you out of there."

----

K.U. felt someone grab him. He looked at Ibiki."I think they're going to" BAM. the back of his head was slammed roughly into the wall. "OY, what the" BAM. Again, his head hit the wall. They could hear Asas's muffled voice from the other side. "This ain't working. Got a crowbar?" Ibiki was pleased by the tone of horror that slipped into K.U.'s voice. "He wouldn't... would he?" Ibiki smiled, this finally provided him with the opening he needed. "Oh yes. I don't know how bad crowbars are in your dimension, but here..."

On the other side they could hear K.U. shouting something about crowbars, and Asas laughed. Grinning, he looked over at Tsunade. "He hates crowbars. Dunno why, but its one of his few weaknesses." Tsunade was actually shocked by the fact that an Uchiha had a sense of humour. "Okay." she said, regaining her composure. "Well, I think you'd better find a way to get your partner out of the wall, I'm going to introduce you to your guide." Asas looked at K.U., who was now standing on all fours...on the wall itself. Needless to say, this looked extremely comical, especially as he was ramming with his head against the wall in a vain effort to get himself unstuck. Asas looked at Tsunade, who was chuckling at K.U. "Um, you're not our guide?" Tsunade walked to the door, glancing back at him "No, whatever gave you that idea?" She opened the door. "Allow me to introduce you to your guide. Kakashi, could you please come in?"

* * *

Kakashi makes his appearance! I am not that good at writing emotional stuff, any help with that would be appreciated. I really need reviews, or a beta. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to write without feedback. So please tell me what you think! I'm not going to expand a lot on either aliens or technology, they're only going to appear in flashbacks and will not have any major influence on the rest of the story. Having too much technology kinda ruins the the fun one can have in the narutoverse.


	3. Return of the bell test

Hey folks, another update. I really want some reviews, flames are welcome to, so long as they're justified. If I make any character too OC let me know, I want to remain as canon as possible. On that note, Naruto is learning how to use his wind chakra while this is taking place, only now under supervision of Yamato alone. **This is the revised chapter 3. See the note in chapter 1.**

Yours truly

M.G.

**3. Return of the bell test**

Kakashi entered the room while reading his little orange book. He had decided to accept responsibility for the newcomer. He had declined at first. The thought of taking care of another Uchiha had brought back too many old memories.

/\/\ Flashback

_"I want you to take care of him." Tsunade was standing next to him, watching the sun rise over Konoha. He was standing next to her, watching the sunrise as well. "No" he said firmly "I have failed him before. I don't want a repeat of that." he said. 'again.' He added in his thoughts. "Don't think that I forgot your feelings about failing one of your students. But this is not the Sasuke we know. This Sasuke has grown up in a caring family, and with good friends. In fact, he reminds me more of Naruto than his other self. Besides, you are the only one who I can assign him to. When the time comes, you are the only one who can train him with the Sharingan." "I failed his family two times already. What makes you thi" SMACK. Kakashi is interrupted by Tsunade slapping him. "Kakashi, snap out of it! You made mistakes, now learn from them and move on!" Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, contemplating her words. Tsunade was right. "All right" he said "I'll do it."_

/\/\

Kakashi looked up from his book and surveyed the room. Understandably, his gaze was drawn to K.U. and Ibiki, and then to Asas. Asas looked at him, then the two in the wall and back to him again.

"It wasn't me!" Asas said quickly when Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"My first impression of you two... You look like two idiots"

Asas looked back at K.U.

"Him I can understand, but what makes me an idiot too? My head isn't stuck in the wall."

"You two are partners. Anything that applies to him applies to you as well. And that includes looking like an idiot." Asas opened his mouth for a retort, when K.U. interrupted with a loud clank. He suddenly dropped to the floor, but when he got back up his head was...missing. From the other room, a loud voice complained

"Aww, just great. I hate having to navigate blind." Before a stunned Tsunade and Kakashi, K.U. headless body slowly began to navigate around the bed.

"Wh- wh- what?" Tsunade stammered. Asas saw their flabbergasted expression, and explained:

"Its a scout thing. K.U. was designed to be an infiltrator, and to make it easier for him to spy in well guarded places, his head can detach itself to slip into vents and the like. The problem is that his main body has very limited sensory equipment and no intelligence to speak of, leaving it virtually defenceless. Not that his head is better off, as it has only one weapon, and that's a non-lethal one at that." Asas eplained. A scream could be heard from the corridor.

"Aaah! kill it! Its a rat! A bug! Aaah!" Suddenly, a frantic scratching sound could be heard from the other side.

"Open up! Some girl is trying to kill" BAM! K.U.'s head burst into the room as Sakura viciously kicked it through the door (Not a metaphor. Literally through the door). Bouncing off the wall, K.U.'s head landed on the floor. His body raced to pick it up, reattaching with a loud clank.

"Ow! Man that hurt! What was her problem?" he whined, while rubbing his neck. Outside, someone was trying to calm down Sakura, and after a loud thud as if someone received a powerful punch, it became quiet again.

"Showoff" Asas muttered.

"Well, maybe if you freed me a little earlier." K.U. retorted. Meanwhile, Kakashi and Tsunade had recomposed themselves. Asas looked up expectantly.

"And now?"

"Now, I'm going to make the both of you live up to your promise of making yourself useful." Kakashi said "Please follow me." Before they left, Kakashi turned to Asas.

"Before we leave: Do you know how to do a henge?" Judging by Asas's confused expression, he did not.

"A what?"

"Never mind. Hold still for a sec." Kakashi performed the jutsu, and suddenly instead of Asas, there stood Ibiki with a puzzled expression on his clean face.

"What the! Hey, I look like that guy!" he pointed to Ibiki. K.U. was equally surprised.

"What the hell?" he said. Visual sensors told him that Asas had turned into Ibiki, but thermal told him it was still Asas himself. Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

"What? Never seen a transformation before?"

"Well, not like this, no." Asas answered, going over his new body.

"It's not perfect though." K.U. remarked.

"Oh, really?" Kakashi's eyebrow went higher. "How so?"

"Well, the real guy didn't have a clean face. Give me a second or two, then the transformation will be complete. Watch." K.U. replied. Pulling out a pen, he walked towards Asas, who backed away.

"Get away from me! I ain't gonna let you scribble all over my face! I'll just say I washed it or something!"

* * *

After K.U. had been convinced that Asas didn't need a makeover, they left for a training field. K.U. glared at Sakura on the way out, who goggled, said something about a bug-head and promptly fainted. Tsunade had parted ways with them in the hospital, leaving them with just Kakashi.

"Why do I have to wear this disguise anyway? You all got to hear my story, could I be filled in on what's happening here?" Kakashi sighed before answering.

"Alright. Short version, you are a traitor who attacked his own people in search of power." Asas stopped as if he had been hit on the head.

"I-I what?" he stammered, looking shocked.

"You are a traitor who attacked his own people in search of power." Kakashi repeated, observing Asas carefully. The boy was lost in his own thought, obviously cross with what he was told.

"To sum it all up, I'm an ass." he said in a disdainful tone. K.U. did a mock prayer.

"Praise the lord, realisation hath dawned upon the ignorant."

"Shut up you useless bag of bolts."

"Always nice to be appreciated." Ignoring K.U., Asas turned back to Kakashi.

"Why? I know myself, and stabbing people in the back isn't my style."

"In your universe, what was your family like?" Kakashi asked. Asas looked at him, a bit confused and a bit angry.

"What's that that got to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question."

"Fine. Anything in particular?"

"What was your father like, for example."

"Lets see...Dad was a police officer before the war started, after which he got assigned to the infantry. Mom was a housewife before the war, and became a logistics officer." Asas smiled a small smile. "She never stopped teasing dad about how she had a higher rank than him. And finally, my brother. He was a fighter pilot before the war started, and starting on his fourth ace when I last checked. Mad as a bat, but an extremely skilled pilot." Asas said in a fond tone. Kakashi thought this over. 'mad as a bat' was certainly one way to describe Itachi, but not with the tone Asas used.

"Were you close with them?" he asked.

"Pretty close, why?"

"Because in this universe, your brother killed your family to become more powerful, and you set off in a one-man crusade to kill him."

In the silence that followed you could hear a needle drop.

"He...I...What?" Asas stammered eventually.

"In this uni-"

"I heard you, this is just a little hard on me." Asas was lost in thoughts for a while after that. K.U. finally broke the silence. "And the rest? In our universe the Uchiha were a relatively large family, Itachi can't have killed all of them, right?"

Kakashi replied in an emotionless voice: "He killed all of them."

"Well, he never did like leaving loose ends." Asas said emotionlessly.

"You got that right. Remember that time with those 'red baron' fighters?" K.U. said, in the hope of getting the mood up. Asas smiled fondly at the memory.

_They were defeated, alone, and waiting for the end. The new enemy fighters were the best of them all, wiping out the entire defence stronghold with their devastating air-strikes. Asas was bloodied, carrying a wounded, when the attack began. He could see the red fighter planes approaching. With no cover, the pilots could strafe them at leisure. Asas knew he wouldn't make it to the bunker, so he watched. There was something eerily beautiful about the planes as they made a lazy turn, locked on and suddenly exploded._

"_You know, for the supposed 'best' that sure was easy" his radio chirped. A smile formed on Asas's face._

"_Itachi, you lazy bum! What took you so long?" Asas shouted happily into his mike._

"_Show this 'lazy bum' some respect, he did just save your life." Itachi replied as he flew by. Asas could hear him mutter as he disappeared from view:_

"_Mph, 'Red Barons'. 'Dead Barons' more like."_

They soon reached the crash site, where Kakashi instructed them to take whatever they needed.

"Your stuff's been put inside, and we didn't touch anything else. Release!" Kakshi said, forming a hand sign and dispelling the transformation on Asas.

Asas sighed in relief when he got his own form back, and went to plunder the pods armament compartment (or, as he liked to call it, the 'toy box'). Kakashi remained outside, reading an orange book. After a short while, they were ready.

"So, what have you got in store for us?" Asas asked, and after a short growl from his stomach he added "I hope it involves food."

"It involves food." Kakashi reassured him. Asas looked relieved.

"You just have to take this bell from me." Kakashi said holding up a bell. "and whomever doesn't have a bell by the time this timer reaches zero has to watch while the other two eat in front of him."

Asas grinned, K.U. didn't need food, so this was no problem.

"How much force are we allowed to use?" K.U. asked.

"As if I was a real enemy. Come at me as if to kill me." Kakashi replied. "We start now." And with that he vanished in a puff of smoke.

"It would appear that humans have some interesting abilities in this universe." K.U. remarked. "Well, let's start hunting, shall we?"

Asas merely nodded.

* * *

Kakashi was sitting on a tree branch, observing from a distance. He figured first off he would test tracking skills, the rest could come later. For now the two were talking, then Asas grabbed something on his back. It was something K.U. had described as an 'assault rifle'. Kakashi was interested in this weapon, from what K.U. had told them it was a very powerful ranged weapon with some very interesting abilities. The small black blades on the front were part of an upgrade called a 'chainsaw bayonet', capable of slicing through even thick steel plates. To Kakashi they actually made the weapon look more like a club. He decided to test these claims. Sending a shadow clone to investigate, he flipped out his book and relaxed. If those two were confused by a simple henge, they'd probably also fall for a shadow clone.

* * *

Asas pondered over K.U.'s words. _'It would appear that humans have interesting abilities in this universe'_

"Say K.U., does this mean I have these strange abilities too?" he asked.

"Think so. Right, here comes Cyclops." K.U. replied. He readied his claws. The tips of his fingers extended till they were nine-inch long blades, an inch wide and sharper than razors.

Kakashi appeared.

K.U. charged, striking high with his palm open in what looked like a bitch slap. That would pass out the other side of most objects.

Kakashi blocked using K.U.'s wrist, but K.U struck with his other hand before he could react. Kakashi's arm was severed from the elbow. Dropping back to his stance, K.U. wondered if chopping off limbs was overkill. '_Oh well, to late to consider that'_ he thought, when suddenly Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

Kakashi had observed from a distance, and was surprised by the steel man's stance; it was a style he had seen before, but masters of it were rare because of how long it took to learn. He blinked at the speed K.U. employed, realising it was greater than Rock Lee with weights, possibly on par with Gai. He winced as the clone's memory returned to him. It was never fun to have a limb removed, even if it was only a shadow clone.

* * *

Asas was not surprised by Kakashi disappearing, or at least he didn't show it anymore. K.U. was observing his claws. To his surprise, there was no blood on them. Whatever Cyclops was, he apparently could go up in smoke at will, and didn't bleed. Interesting.

"I think this will be easier if we split. You take your time to find him while I set up traps." Asas said.

* * *

**OMAKE**

Kakashi was sitting outside the pod, reading his book while Asas and K.U. were getting ready. He nearly jumped when a rain of small objects flew out of the hatch and cut down a tree while Asas shouted inside the pod:

"Oh YEAH! CHAAAAINGUN!"

"Asas, give that to me."

"But-"

"No arguing, just give it to me."

"Spoilsport."

After a short silence.

"I wonder if this actually works."

"NO! DON'T PRESS THAT-"

Kakashi looked up as something green and glowing blasted out of the hatch and vaporised another innocent tree.

"Oops." Asas's head poked out. "Em, sorry? I promise I won't do that again." Asas looked back. "Especially since the gun is now a puddle of molten slag. What the heck was that anyway?"

"I don't know, but next time a gun has 'experimental' in big red letters on it, leave it alone, okay?" K.U. replied annoyed.

"Whatever." Asas returned to selecting weapons. "Oo, what's this one do?"

Kakashi decided that moving away from the hatch might not be such a bad idea.

* * *

////////

* * *

So, fixed up this chapter so that none of that psychological crap got in the way of the plot. There will still be some, but I'll try to keep the focus of this story on Alternate Sasuke, not K.U.

Until next time

M.G.


	4. In the heat of training

Chapter three, yippee!

Last night, I was in my bed, looking at the stars, when I realised my ceiling was gone. There, I always wanted to say that. **This is the revised chapter 4. See the note in chapter 1.

* * *

**

//////////////////

* * *

Kakashi relaxed, casually looking up every once in a while to check out the progress of the two below him. Asas was busy putting up traps and the like in a line. The other was walking behind and above him doing the same in the treetops. The two were working together well enough, and Kakashi wondered if he should raise the stakes a little. He figured they were high enough, besides, he was just starting on one of the good parts of his book.

Meanwhile, Asas was finishing the last of his traps. Looking up, he saw K.U. jump down, trailed by a near-invisible trip wire. Attaching it to the small mine, the robot stood up.

"He's up in that tree, reading a book." K.U. whispered over the radio.

"You sure?" Asas mouthed.

"Yeah." After a short pause: "It's porn."

"Plan A. Lets go." Asas mouthed.

Shifting out of Kakashi's view, K.U. climbed back up on all fours, staying out of sight and waited for Asas to spring the trap. Asas stayed on the forest floor, carefully aiming at the branch supporting Kakashi. He fired, making sure not to hit the man. That was K.U.'s job

* * *

Kakashi barely had time to react when the branch beneath him got cut off near the trunk. Grabbing the bark, he jumped away as K.U. suddenly attacked with a flying kick. Before he could counterattack or escape, a hail of explosions forced him to change directions. Going the other way, he barely avoided a punch from K.U. before escaping in the other direction. He still wasn't safe, because when he jumped on a tree, he realised that he was sitting in a tree where K.U. had been planting traps. Dodging the fireball of the explosion, he was forced back towards K.U. and Asas. This pattern kept repeating, slowly forcing Kakashi towards the centre of the training field. All of a sudden, the two stopped attacking and retreated. Kakashi looked round, but the two had definitely stopped and retreated. Shrugging, he turned back to his book, which he hadn't stopped reading since the start of the test. K.U. might be a jonin-level taijutsu-master, but he had kept his distance, concentrating on forcing Kakashi back. As for Asas, the only times Kakashi had been reminded of his presence was when his chakra spiked just before another tree branch suddenly tore up. Great stealth, granted, but Asas definitely needed to learn how to suppress his emotional chakra bursts.

* * *

"He's in" K.U. said, dropping out of the trees next to Asas.

Asas grinned, pulling out a transmitter and flipped a switch. Six sentry guns whirred into life, forming a circle around them. They were six-barrel machine-guns which would shoot any heat source bigger than a dog. Their quarry was now trapped in an area only a fraction of the size of the original field. Asas was enjoying himself. The chase got his blood pumping a little, putting strain on muscles little used inside the cramped pod. The fact that nobody had been shooting at him for the past three weeks also helped improve his mood. Activating his thermal visor on his helmet, he pulled ahead of K.U. and began to attack the now cornered Kakashi. With his thermal on, he could see him 'hidden' in a tree. He shot down the branch, and kicked at Kakashi's head before he could jump away. Kakashi blocked, and Asas followed up with a slash from his chainsaw bayonet. The slash was blocked by a kunai, but the whirring blades didn't even slow down as they cut through the knife as if it was made of butter. Kakashi barely dodged, and the slash cut down the tree next to them as if it was made of smoke. K.U. joined the fight, swiping down with his claws extended from behind him. Now faced with two opponents working in sync, Kakashi decided to retreat. However, when he jumped on a branch away from the duo, only his ninja senses warned him of the danger coming from behind. Jumping to the side, the branch exploded in a shower of splinters and a trail of fire rapidly followed him, tearing apart anything in its path. Pulling back, he realised it wasn't Asas that had fired.

* * *

Their plan was working perfectly, Kakashi was barely able to keep up with them. At least, while reading his book. The fact that he still hadn't stopped reading annoyed K.U. to no end. In his anger, he made a mistake which allowed Kakashi to land a powerful kick to his chest. Sliding backwards on all fours to slow down, his eyes had changed to glowing red as he charged again. All care abandoned, he unleashed his full fury, processing combat data using every system he had, even the readouts in his HUD became red. Kakashi had stopped reading, starting to show signs of genuine fatigue now. K.U. dodged a bolt of lightning, landing a roundhouse kick on Kakashi, and slashed out with his claws. A voice was nagging at the back of his head, but he wasn't listening. Only the kill mattered now, seeing the red blood flow, tender flesh giving way under his sharp blades, soft organs being-

All of a sudden, a voice spoke to him in a crystal clear tone. It said: "Execute command Alpha-zero-zero-one" K.U. dropped to the ground, and blackness enveloped him...

* * *

"Sorry about that." Asas said as he picked up K.U.'s now limp form and started dragging it towards the pod. Kakashi looked up at him, panting.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well, K.U. just switched to his beserker self. All of his systems are re-routed to process combat data, so he can completely focus on his objective. At the same time, everything not critical for the fight is ignored. I've never had a situation where stuff got out of hand so badly though. Anyway, all K.U.'s have a failsafe built in, if a certain command is issued they start a full systems diagnostic. I really don't know why K.U. switched to this mode, the situation didn't call for it." Asas explained.

"Oh. Aren't you going to help me?" Kakashi said, not having got up from where he was thrown down after K.U.'s kick. Asas simply smiled, "Your wounds are less serious as they look because you smeared out the blood coming from them. You are perfectly able to get up without my help, the only reason you ask help is to steal back the bell I took from you when you kicked K.U. away." he said.

"True. Looks like I'll just have to take it back the old fashioned way." Kakashi said, jumping up and charging suddenly. A stream of fire dispatched the clone, and a second stream tore up a tree as Kakashi jumped down out of said tree. Asas merely grinned, and said: "I'd stay put if I were you. The sentry guns are quite lethal, and they only know how to kill, not how to merely wound."

* * *

Later, inside the pod, Asas watched the ammunition counters of the sentries slowly going down. Kakashi was still trying to get out, and he might soon, the way the ammo was being spent. Deactivating them so they could be reused, he relaxed a little. The hatch would be more than sufficient to keep Kakashi out, so now he turned his attention to K.U., who was finally activating himself again.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, getting up.

"I could ask you the same question. All I know is that you suddenly switched to focus mode and went berserk." Asas replied.

"I- I was pissed that he managed to land a blow, after which my emotions system suddenly went beserk, but that's supposed to be impossible."

"So, basically you lost it?"

"That would be a correct way to describe what happened. What really worries me is that it theoretically it should be impossible for me to 'lose it'. "

"Just as impossible as a grown man going up in smoke or me suddenly looking like someone else?"

"I really am going to have to get used to this place." K.U. said, as he looked out the small window at the back.

Asas chuckled. "You have got to be kidding me. You're getting psych issues?"

"Nope." K.U. said. After a little humming and clicking, he tapped his head.

"There. Now I can't go into focus mode anymore. Removed the wires for it."

"Well, what when you need to?" Asas asked, as he began stripping his rifle.

"It'll take a few seconds, but then I can use it again. All I gotta do is push the wires back in."

* * *

"So, we win! What next?" Asas said cheerfully as he exited the pod. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean one of you won? Only the one with the bell gets to eat lunch, remember?"

"Well, only one of us eats lunch, so no problems there." Asas replied, taking the lunch package.

"Didn't you listen when I told you? I am artificial." K.U. said, displaying the inner mechanics of his arm.

"Swowoff" Asas said while wolfing down the food.

"Merely making a statement." K.U. said dignified, clapping the panel shut again.

Kakashi smiled, "Okay, you pass. I see that you are both able to become leaf ninja."

Asas looked up, having finished lunch. "Uh, about that? When you say ninja you mean someone who can utilise this 'chakra' stuff to do things, right?"

Kakashi looked at him. "Yes?"

"Well, I don't really know how to use any of that stuff, so..."

"Don't worry about that. Do you have a way to conceal your face?"

Asas pulled out a steel face-mask that slotted into his helmet.

"Good. Now, a very good friend of mine specialises in teaching the basics to those who are lacking."

* * *

SPLASH.

"*******." Asas swore, climbing out of the hot water for the _nth_ time. After completing an exercise where he had to make a leaf float in the air, Ebisu made him climb a tree. Without using his hands. When, finally, he had managed to do it, Ebisu rewarded him, as promised, with a visit to the local hot springs. Unfortunately, when Ebisu said hot springs, he meant hot springs. As in 60 degrees centigrade hot, and he was expected to walk over the water. And he wasn't really making progress.

SPLASH.

"Aw, come on! Surely you can do better than that?" Ebisu taunted, standing by the waters edge. K.U., standing beside Ebisu, noticed his partners fingers twitching, a sign that Ripper was about to get formally introduced to someone again. Seeing as Ripper was Asas's (waterproof) assault rifle/chainsaw, it would probably be a good idea to interfere.

"Oy, Asas, you still have your PAS (Personal Air Supply) with you, right?" he said.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because THOSE LADIES SURE ARE PRETTY, EH, EBISU?" K.U. shouted before jumping in the pool, pulling Asas under as well. Ebisu only had time to raise his eyebrows before feeling the full fury of several enraged Kunoichi that happened to be bathing in the pool next to their training location.

Down on the pool bottom, K.U. realised he'd forgotten something. While Asas had air, the water they were in was still very, very hot.

"YEEOOW! HOTHOTHOT!" Asas shouted while jumping out of the pool

"Look! Another pervert!"

Asas got to 'sh' of 'oh shit' before they got him.

* * *

//////////////

* * *

Beserk mode is here to stay. Consider it a little compensation for the fact that while Guy and Lee have their inner gates, K.U. has, well, nothing.


	5. Mission to the Golden Hills

Q/A:

Anotamous (): I like dakka. I like flying. dakka+flying=A 10

**This is the revised chapter 5. See the note in chapter 1. **For the record here, although Alternate Sasuke was 21 when he got sent here, his body got changed to that of his sixteen year old self. If you think I'm going to give a sixteen year old a gun with a chainsaw, you're wrong.

///////////////////

The next morning Tsunade was reading a report filed in by Ebisu a few hours before he had been hospitalised.

-Not only has Asas mastered the chakra control exercises, he has done so with surprising speed, mastering the basic exercise in a few hours, and the tree walking exercise in an afternoon. When I asked how he did this, he replied that it felt "Natural somehow, as if I've already done this before. Sorta like a déjà vu." Whether this is a result of travelling through dimensions or having a ninja body* is unknown. I have started teaching him the water-walking exercise, though he is still struggling as I write. (...) His partner is a different problem altogether. While a taijutsu master on par with Rock Lee, and possibly Maito Gai, K.U. has no chakra system at all, rendering him useless in fights on water. He does have powerful talons on his feet allowing him to fight on walls and ceilings like a normal ninja, although the walls and ceiling will be damaged by him doing so. (...)

Appendix:

*= A test with Hyuuga Hinata's Byakugan revealed that he has the same characteristics as his other self, for so far our estimates go. This includes stamina, muscle memory, facial features and fingerprints, but not scars, wounds or anything else of similar origin. He does have his own set of scars etc. , but they often bear no correlation with any of Sasuke's known battles, or (sometimes) any known forms of attack.-

_'According to both this report and Kakashi's, he and his partner are capable, loyal fighters.' _She thought, as she took a swig from her sake bottle. _'So, infiltration specialists eh? Got something that should be right up your alley'_

* * *

"Think we're in trouble for hospitalising Ebisu?" Asas asked softly.

"Don't think so. I mean, at least we would be surrounded by evil-looking brutes or something." replied K.U.

"Well, seeing as this guy did manage to keep up with you while reading, they might not even be necessary."

"Hey! I was only trying to drive him back, not actually kill him! If I went all out I'd kick his ass big time!"

Asas snorted. "Sure, keep telling yourself that."

"I will, thank you."

They were following Kakashi through the trees, being summoned by the Hokage, what for they didn't know.

There were four people already present: The Hokage herself, Kiba, Shino, and Hinata. Not really knowing what was expected of them, Asas and K.U. followed Kakashi's lead and lined up with team 8 in front of Tsunade.

"Now that all of you are here, I will start briefing you. You are hereby given a scout and infiltration mission on one of Orochimaru's hideouts. We have reason to believe that he has one near the Golden Hills. Kakashi will be team leader, seeing as his abilities are well suited for both scouting and infiltrating. You must remain undetected, by any means necessary. You will be expected to depart in two hours. Questions?"

"Anything consistent in his hideouts?" K.U. asked.

"Only that they are all mazes, with lots of traps and guards and such. There are usually laboratories for biological experiments, and living quarters for the guards."

Asas started grinning. Cave lairs meant closed corridor combat, and that meant _flamethrowers. _"What are we waiting for? Lets go!" he said dragging K.U. with him. "I hear that the locust use _mini napalm launchers_, and I've been dying to get my hand on those!"

* * *

"Are you sure they can be trusted, Hokage-sama?" Kiba asked after they had left.

"As sure as I can be. Should he prove to be a spy, take him out first chance you get. Otherwise, well a good ninja is always welcome to our village, and if he has the sharingan, all the better. Same goes for his partner."

Hinata spoke up next. "Ano, if we are going after Orochimaru, isn't there a chance that we run into... our... Sasuke?"

"There is, so make sure Naruto won't find out about this. Anything else?... Dismissed then."

* * *

later, the group assembled near the gate. While team 8 carried only their tents and weapons, KU. shows up carrying nothing but his cape and armour, while Asas was wearing a large pack and his pockets were also full of things. Two strange objects were strapped on either side of the pack.

"Asas, are you sure you only packed the essentials?" Kakashi asked.

"Ammo, food, tent, napalm, demolition charges, napalm launcher, flash-bangs, grenades, Ripper and a healthy amount of knives. Nothing more."

"Uh, who or what is 'Ripper'?" Kiba asked.

Grinning like a madman, Asas grabbed one of the objects strapped to his pack. It was a gleaming black assault rifle, with a chainsaw bayonet attached to the front. Kiba was mystified by the strange weapon. Looking at the small barbs of the chainsaw, he asked "Is it a club?"

"No, infinitely worse than a club. Watch." Asas answered, revving the chainsaw suddenly.

"Y-You... It's a demon!" Kiba yelled, jumping back. Asas carved a gash in the gate wall, ending in a pose where he had to glance over his shoulder to maintain eye contact with the rest. Added to this his maniac grin and the (in their eyes) growling demon-blade, it wasn't that hard to imagine a hellish background as finishing touch. In an evil voice he said "Even worse. This is my demon. Current kill count somewhere between 100 and 120."

Putting Ripper back, Asas continued in a normal way. "He's also quite useful to make firewood, and if you lost your keys. Though you will need a new door afterward."

Kakashi interrupted further conversation. "As interesting as your weapon is, we are on a mission now. Seeing as you are all ready, we're leaving."

* * *

"So, Golden Hills eh? Looks more like a dump." Asas commented. It was true: The brown hills were devoid of trees, unusual in the fire country. Large caves which looked like a giant had stabbed the earth were abundant in the region, with small canyons making the whole terrain ideal as a hiding place.

"I-It used to be an area with rich gold deposits, but after the mines dried up only the name remained." Hinata said.

K.U. winced. "Well, something else remained: there's crystals all over the place, and they're screwing with my radar. I won't be able to map this place from up here."

"So basically we're gonna wander around and hope we're lucky." Asas scowled.

"Idiot, we're Konoha's number one scout team. Finding this place is going to be easy." Kiba said, insulted. Sure enough, half an hour later, Kiba and Akamaru smelled something. Blood.

* * *

The cave was huge, large enough for a tank. It was quiet inside, and the scent of blood was strong enough by now that everyone could smell it. Hinata activated her Byakugan.

"Um, no traps are located near the entry... nothing in the corridor beyond that... There is some sort of chamber at the end, with some chakra signatures. My god, they're dying! There are a lot of heavily wounded people in there!" Hinata said out loud. K.U. grabbed her shoulder. "Any traps, guards, et cetera?"

"Um... Um... No, nothing! Wait! A timer attached to some explosive notes."

"So, we can just bolt in and save people? Lets go!" Kiba said, before rushing in. Kakashi kept a more level head.

"Hinata, what's our timeframe?"

"About three minutes." With that, the rest of the group chased after Kiba.

Although Hinata had prepared them a bit, they were shocked by the carnage in the pit. Bodies lay everywhere, in bits, in waist high piles, impaled on stalagmites and even on some of the stalactites on the ceiling. Almost the entire floor was covered in blood. Kiba was standing next to a pile, trying to find survivors.

"Hinata, where?" Asas managed to say. He could feel the bile in his throat, but managed not to puke.

Hinata pointed to someone who looked like he had half a crab sticking out of him. "Leave me... I'm dead anyway..." he whispered.

"Oh, shut it." K.U. answered, and started to carry him out.

"Kiba, there's someone to your left, a female." Hinata advised. Kiba found her hiding under the body of another shelled monstrosity. She had shoulder length red hair, and was wearing a dark red shirt with white trim. A dirty pair of beige pants and tattered sandals covered her legs. A large gash ran along her left leg, and the rest of her body was covered in minor injuries. She tried to attack him, but he caught her wrist easily.

"Easy now, we're here to help." He told her.

"Can you stand?" he asked. She didn't answer, but just looked at him with eyes wide open in fright. She was quite clearly suffering from shock. Gently Kiba picked her up, taking care not to irritate her wound, and carried her out, bridal style.

Shino carried three others, using his bugs to lighten the load. The rest were to injured to survive.

* * *

K.U. was enjoying the strange sensation called 'anticipation' before the explosion. Counting down...3. 2. 1. **BAOOM! **Whooping with joy, he watched the cavern collapse upon itself, going down in a blaze of glory. Well, in his opinion at least. He didn't know why, but he liked things blowing up. He had replayed explosions from his memories from time to time, but the real thing somehow felt better. He registered a commotion from the camp. Climbing down, he saw that the girl Kiba rescued had gone hysterical, until said Dogboy took her in a hug and whispered to her. Stuff like "It's okay." and "Calm down, I'm here." Weird humans, what was so scary about stuff blowing up? All you had to do was set the charges, sit back, and relax. Curious, he peered down, listening in on the two.

"Hush, it's alright."

"No, its not! He'll come! He'll come!"

"If he does, I'll kick his ass."

"He's to strong to be defeated by a kick."

"Then I'll keep kicking!"

"It's not funny! He killed her... then he threw me in that camp..."

"Hey, that's over now. I'll protect you."

"... Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Always?"

"Always. What's your name?"

"Miwa."

"Mine's Kiba. If you ever need protection, just call out my name and I'll be there for you."

Calmed, Miwa sleepily leaned against his shoulder.

"Thank you." she mumbled.

Somehow, K.U. felt he was watching something important.

* * *

Asas was cleaning Ripper when Hinata approached.

"Ano... C-can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Sure." he replied, putting away the cloth and started reassembling.

"Um, E-earlier, when you came here... y-you said something... a-about... me and... and..." She poked her forefingers together and blushed. Asas paused with reassembling.

"You and...? Look, if it was embarrassing, I was drunk, okay? Well... not okay, I know I shouldn't get tanked in the first place, but I didn't mean it, so I'm sorry alright?" he said, uncomfortable with her silence and obvious embarrassment.

"No, no. Its just that you... ah... mentioned something... from your world... about... a...___?" Asas blinked. He had been drunk and hadn't done anything stupid? That was a first. Frowning, he tried to make some sense of her words. That last word was whispered so softly he nearly didn't hear it. Girlfriend?

"If you're talking about you and Naruto, yes you're dating."

*BONK*

Oh shit, what did he do now?

"Hey, what the? Hinata? Hinata? Um, guys, I got a problem here." He called out. Instantly, Kakashi appeared, checking on Hinata, and Shino, well, looked menacingly at Asas.

"She just fainted on me! I swear I didn't touch her!" Asas said, worried.

"If you hurt her... You. Will. Die." Shino said, leaking killer intent. "Slowly." he added, as a final touch.

"Shino, stop threatening your team mate. Asas, what exactly did you tell her?" Kakashi interrupted.

"Nothing, she just asked me how she and Naruto were doing in my world. When I told her they were dating, she fainted on me. I swear that's all!" Asas protested loudly.

"Asas, no one said anything about you trying anything. It's just that here, Naruto is a touchy subject around Hinata."

"What, they're fighting?"

"No, she hasn't told him yet what she thinks of him." Mentally, Asas slapped himself. He should have seen that coming a mile away! The only reason Naruto told her in his universe was... well...

* * *

_flashback_

_Echo regiment was on Tarras, assigned to prepare defences and evacuate civilians. In the regimental barracks, the troops were keeping themselves amused with some high quality drama (in their opinion at least). They were getting Naruto drunk enough for him to just walk up to Hinata and tell her how he felt about her._

_"Come on man, you love her don't you?" Kiba said._

_"But dude, Sheesh like n Anjel! Wot if Shee don like mi?"_

_"Look, just walk up to her and kiss her. If she kisses back, she feels the same way, if she slaps you she doesn't." Sasuke said. Naruto looked at him in doubt._

_"At least you've got some certainty then."_

_"Yoose a good friend, ya know zat?" Naruto said after a while. He got up and staggered out, with half the regiment 'secretly' following._

_"How many has he had?" Sasuke whispered while peering round the corner._

_"Nearly a full bottle of whiskey." Kiba whispered back._

_Naruto had reached the orphanage, the last one to be evacuated. Hinata was training as a nurse when the evacuation orders came, and had been in charge of the refugee camps medical child care since. If off-duty, she was often playing with the orphans. It didn't take long (five seconds) before all the kids were absolutely in love with her. It took slightly longer (six seconds) before Naruto fell absolutely in love with her too._

_"I hope someone tapes this." Sasuke muttered._

_"Ask and you shall receive." Shikamaru replied, wielding a small handheld camera. Meanwhile, Naruto had spotted Hinata. Slowly he walked up to her, and after some conversation, he kissed her on the lips. From all around the orphanage, people dumped their cover and cheered loudly. Hinata fainted._

_The two forgave everyone, eventually, After they were reminded that it was never wise to prank a prankster. Everyone in Echo had, strangely and suddenly, developed a deep seated fear of buckets of lard in that time._

* * *

Asas smiled at the memory. He had volunteered to watch over the unconscious Hinata, and because she was taking care of the wounded from the cave, he was also keeping an eye on them. Not that they really needed that, they were out cold, and from what Hinata had told him they would probably remain out cold until medical help got here. He studied their sleeping forms. Crabman had fainted on the way out of the cave, and was lying face down with his legs sprawled out beneath him. Poor guy couldn't sleep on his back, if he did he wouldn't be able to get back up. The second was a normal-looking woman, but she had a large and weird burn pattern over her skin. Number three was a man with a dark green skin and brown lines vaguely visible underneath it. He reminded Asas of a potted plant somehow. Finally, number four was... was... Asas moved the covers covering the man. He looked like a mummy, the skull clearly visible underneath the wrinkled dry skin. Making sure he was alive, Asas out his fingers on the mans(?) neck to check for a pulse. To his surprise and horror, he poked straight through, the skin flakes crumbling to dust as soon as they hit the ground.

"The hell?" Asas said, jumping back and pulling the covers with him. The man (woman?) was a dry husk, the mere pulling away of the blanket causing the skin over the belly to collapse. Involuntarily, Asas found out how a heart and a pair of lungs would look if they were sucked dry.

"Guys..." he called out hoarsely "I think we have a problem."

* * *

"This is freaky. Even I think this is freaky. And I'm a robot." K.U. said, looking at the body. They were standing around the body, not sure what to do. Shino had confirmed that the man was still alive when he brought him out of the cave, and far more juicy than now. Somehow, someone had been able sneak past all of them, suck the life out of the guy, and sneak back out again. Not even Kakashi had sensed anything.

"I think one of the patients did it." Shino said.

"Why that?" Asas said.

"Think about it. We all have heightened senses, each using a different manner to detect someone else's presence. The chances of someone sneaking past us merely to suck a wounded man dry are microscopic. For one, that someone would have no problem sneaking up on one of us for feeding. Secondly, to drain a body so thoroughly takes time, and we have been watching over the patients regularly. We would have noticed someone feeding. That leaves me with only one logical conclusion. One of the patients did it, using the blanket as a cover." Shino explained.

"So, can you also tell us who did it?" K.U. asked.

"Well, Hinata not, for obvious reasons. The girl Kiba carried hasn't been here... Where are they anyway?"

* * *

Miwa had fallen asleep. Kiba hadn't even realised it, but as he had been distracted by Hinata fainting and the discovery of the corpse, she had slowly fallen asleep on his shoulder. Blushing slightly at the position they were in, he tried to stand up. The girl gripped his jacket, trying to keep him close, and mumbled something. From inside the tent, he could hear they were missing him.

"I think they're just... Oh." Asas said, as he poked his head out the tent. Grinning at Kiba's expression, he pulled back inside.

"Kiba's occupied, but we can rule out the girl. She ain't been going anywhere lately by the looks of it." Kiba could hear him say. He prayed that they wouldn't ask any further.

"That leaves us with Potplant, Sushi and Crispy Barbecue." K.U. said. Kiba (and probably everyone else he guessed) sweatdropped at this.

"What? Don't tell me you got a better name for them."

"Crispy... Barbecue...?" Asas said.

"Okay, Ultra Rare Barbecue then."

...

"Still no good?"

Asas spoke up: "K.U., you're not naming anyone again. Ever. Okay?"

"Aw, come on! I just."

"K.U., Asas. She's waking up." Shino interrupted. Moaning in pain, the woman thrashed a little, before opening her eyes.

* * *

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* * *

I wanted to end this with a bigger cliffy, but its been far too long since I last updated. On a side note, what the hell is going on in the manga lately? I mean, a giant moon monster thing was separated into the Bijuu? And planning on using the moon as a giant mind control ray? Hm, gives me some nice ideas... Anyways, next time will feature a fight scene with a raw vegetable.

_Was signed_

_Mad Gunner_


	6. Versus the Thing

Hope this goes better than the last time.**This is the revised chapter 6. See the note in chapter 1.

* * *

**

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* * *

The woman looked at them, afraid at first. During her waking up, she also woke Hinata, which was good for her, because Hinata did a much better job at calming her down then any of the men could ("Those bugs were real genius, Shino." "I believe you outlining what exactly we would do to her should she prove hostile was even less effective." "I liked the one with a screwdriver though." "Boys..." no prizes for guessing who said what). Currently she was getting ready to tell the team what she knew.

"The camp was for... failures such as myself, and a general dump for people that needed to remain alive but nothing else. Sometimes people would just vanish, but I guess that was preferable to seeing someone get killed. Most experiments have... sadistic tendencies. I was in there because I was used as a test subject for the curse seal. I burned out my chakra system to the point where I'm lucky to still be breathing. Fortunately for me, most ninja rely on chakra sensing to tell if someone is playing dead, so when they test me they think I'm not faking. Only because a stray attack hit me I was hurt at all."

"What can you tell us about the other prisoners?"

"Well... there are a lot of failed or ongoing experiments I could tell you about... Kouta, for example, was used to combine a crab's DNA with human DNA. Or Kaze, who got incredible wind based skills, but lost his memory in the process. Or-" Suddenly the woman was impaled by a tree root. Getting up, the man with the green-brown skin revealed his left arm had become tree from the elbow down.

"I think that you've told them quite enough already, b****." he said.

"M*********!" Asas swore, instinctively jumping up, forgetting they were in a tent. Pulling the canvas with him, he formed a sort of duffel bag around himself, struggling with it for a second before tearing it apart with Ripper. It proved all the distraction plant man needed, because in the split second he was obscured from sight he had disappeared.

* * *

"Okay, anybody got any bright idea's on how to tackle this guy?" Kiba asked nobody in particular. They were standing back to back in a small clearing, K.U. giving Kouta a piggy back ride and Kiba carrying Miwa bridal style. Amazingly, even when they were forced to run from 'Pot-plant', the two hadn't woken up, despite quite a lot of trees getting smashed to pieces. As it turned out, Pot-plant had the ability to change into tree parts, although he couldn't change size. He could merge with other trees though, and had tried to spear them with stakes popping out of random trees. Only Hinata's Byakugan had saved them from certain impalement as Pot-plant tried to surround them, tracking his chakra system as he travelled underground and through trees. Scanning him circling the clearing like a shark, Hinata noticed something.

"I think I've found a weakness." she whispered to the others.

"What is it?" Asas asked in a gruff tone, Ripper darting from tree to tree, looking for a target. He knew he was getting weird looks for holding his 'club' that way, and that it was a pointless gesture, but he didn't care. It was a comfort thing for him, and in a universe where he was a traitor, ninja were normal and people could turn into trees, hell, he was going to need all the comfort he could get.

"Well, even though nearly all of his body seems to have changed into tree, he's kept one part of his body unchanged the whole time. His brain area."

"It makes sense. If he changes that part of his body into a tree, forming a single coherent thought would take months. Trees live at a slower pace than humans do after all." Shino said.

"We still have to get to it." Kakashi said, "I only know a few earth-based techniques, and I'm not sure if they'll do the trick. We need to create a miniature earthquake or some other sort of shockwave to reach him."

"Wouldn't a powerful enough explosion do the trick?" Asas asked.

"I don't think we have enough explosives. Plus, how would we get at a safe enough distance to detonate the required amount anyway?" Kiba said.

"Bait. Hinata, if I understand you correctly, he cannot control trees from a distance, correct? If so, all you need to do is blow up the tree he's controlling. And the only way to do that would be with bait." Kakashi said.

"And whomever is bait risks impalement or getting blown up by their own explosive." K.U. said.

"If you've got a better plan?" Kiba asked.

"I never said I did. I just want to know what I'm getting into." K.U. replied.

"I didn't pick anyone yet." Kakashi said.

"Well, I am the most logical choice. Wooden stakes only annoy me, and I have the highest shrapnel tolerance of everyone here." K.U. said, tossing Kouta gently over to Shino, who found himself suddenly buried under 250 pounds of human-crab hybrid. Snatching a grenade from Asas' belt, K.U. ran towards the tree line, followed by worried shouts from Kakashi and Hinata, loud curses from Kiba and Asas, and muffled grunts from Shino as he tried to get Kouta off himself. As he ran, he primed the grenade and tossed it to the closest tree, just as a stake grew out of the trunk towards him. K.U. failed to dodge it completely, as it glanced of his thigh and sent him spinning like a ballerina in mid-air. He was engulfed in smoke as the grenade went off.

* * *

"KAY-YU!" Hinata shouted. After a few seconds, K.U.'s outline could be seen. sitting up. Smoke clearing, it was clear that he was only a bit dazed, but for the rest okay.

"Are you okay?" Hinata asked worriedly.

"Um, think so. Yeah, I'm fine, how are you?" K.U. asked, still not one hundred percent.

"K.U., you do realise you're on fire right?" Asas asked. K.U. looked over his shoulder at the sad remains of his cape, which had indeed caught fire.

"Oh yeah. That could be a problem." K.U. said sheepishly.

"Did I get him?" he asked, looking up and dropping the cape.

"Yes." Hinata replied after a brief check with the Byakugan. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Meh, it'll take more than a little explosion to stop me." K.U. said, getting up and dusting himself off.

"K.U." a cold voice said behind him.

"Um, yes?" K.U. asked innocently, turning around to face an angry Kakashi.

"Don't. Ever. Run off like that again." Kakashi was being serious now, and K.U. snapped to attention.

"Sorry sir. It won't happen again sir." he said. Kakashi's stance relaxed.

"Good job by the way." Kakashi said, in a more relaxed tone, before turning to the rest. "Alright, we'll camp down here for the rest of the night. Asas, you can make us a tent, since you destroyed the last one, Kiba, help Hinata bring her tent here and Shino, you set out a perimeter. I'll remain here with K.U. to watch over the patients."

* * *

"So, what do you think about them?" Kiba asked.

"Sasuke-san and Kay-Yu-san? Well... They seem nice enough to me... Why?" Hinata replied.

"It's just that I get this uneasy feeling around them. I'm just not sure we can completely trust them."

"If they wanted to attack, they've had plenty of opportunities already."

"Well, I think we should prepare something just in case."

"Kiba-kun!"

"What? There's nothing wrong with being prepared!"

"Kiba, they've trusted us so far. I think we should trust them in return, they've earned at least that."

"*Sigh*... You know what, never mind, sorry. I'm probably just paranoid and- What the heck is that?" Kiba said surprised. In the clearing Asas had erected a sort of tipi, made from trees they had demolished during the battle. They had been cut to thinner sections and were coated with bark and resin to keep rain out, with a leftover piece of canvas from the destroyed tent as a door. What really stood out though, was that at the top, keeping the whole structure together and clinging on for dear life, was K.U..

"Hey guys!" He called out.

"Kay-Yu? What are you doing there?" Hinata asked, not really believing what he was seeing.

"What's it look like? I'm holding your tent together and bravely standing guard against the horrors of the vast uncaring world!"

"You've gone mad haven't you?" Kiba said, arching an eyebrow.

"That's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet." K.U. replied.

* * *

Inside, it was warm, due to a small fire in the centre of the tipi. Around the fire were the others, feet towards the flames, relaxing. Asas was just staring into the fire, Kakashi was reading, Shino was concentrating on a bug on his index finger, and Kouta and Miwa were sleeping.

"Yo." Kakashi greeted them. "Anything unusual?"

"Some scents lingering around, but they can wait till tomorrow." Kiba replied. "What happened here?"

"Not much. K.U. has volunteered to take watch." Kakashi said.

"And after him?" Kiba asked, stretching out his sleeping bag.

"Nobody. He doesn't need sleep, and he said he had some issues to work out with himself, so he's got the whole night." Kakashi answered.

"Hm." Kiba muttered, lying down and staring into the flames, Akamaru as a makeshift pillow behind him.

"Guess this is the part where we start telling stories." Asas mumbled.

"Yeah..." Kiba answered.

"How 'bout we leave that till tomorrow?" Kakashi said, stowing away his book.

"I second that." Asas said.

"Me to." Kiba said with a yawn.

"As do I." Hinata said.

"Hm." Shino nodded, putting away the bug. Within seconds, all that was heard were snores.

* * *

K.U. heard her come out quietly, trying not to wake anybody. He wondered what Hinata wanted, but decided that it didn't matter. He returned to repairing his radar, modifying it so all the intense feedback generated by the local crystal formations wouldn't jam it anymore. He was lucky he hadn't activated it in the middle of the field or it would have been the equivalent of a flash-bang in the face. Hinata walked up to him.

"Um, K.U.?" she asked.

"Yes?" he answered.

"I-I want to ask you something... A-And please, could you not tell the others? I-It's personal..."

"Sure, go ahead."

"W-Well, it's what I wanted to ask Asas... But I kinda..."

"Fainted. Is this about you and Naruto?" Hinata nodded, blushing but with hope shining in her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, if she could find out how she and Naruto got together in that other universe, she could use that method here. Just the thought of that had prevented her from falling asleep that night.

"Well, what do you want to know?" K.U. asked, shifting slightly.

"Um... H-How did we, um... get t-together in your reality?" she replied, poking her forefingers together.

"Short version or long?"

"Um..."

"I'll take that as short version. We fed Naruto drunk, and then convinced him kissing you would be a good way to show his affections, and after that you were a couple." K.U. managed to catch Hinata before she dropped to the ground. _'Weird humans again' _he thought, pulling her up with his only free claw. After a while she came round again.

"L-Last question. W-why did you have to get him d-drunk?" She asked.

"Because he didn't want to hurt you by pushing you to something you might not want, because he thought you were too good for him, and out of fear for rejection. But mostly because he just didn't want you hurt."

_'He has feelings for me!' _She thought happily. _'And he only didn't tell me because he cares so much? Oh, poor Naruto, I'll tell you as soon as I can about my feelings. He loves me! I still can't believe it!' _thinking these thoughts, Hinata apologised K.U. for interrupting him, and went to bed, smiling happily.

* * *

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* * *

Well, so ends the first part of the three-tails arc. I hope you enjoyed this bit, I've been getting a little side-tracked into other stories I think of working on. See Prologues for more details. And schoolwork tripled to it's usual amount these days, final papers and all that. To top it all off, I recently started reading 'Shinji and Warhammer 40k' again. Big mistake, it just sucks you in and won't let go. Before you start giving me flak for pushing the NaruHina bit, remember that Naruto still hasn't got a clue about Hinata's feelings, or his own for that matter. He's not as madly in love as his AU self, mainly because Sakura has been the object of his affections for a while. Speaking of her, you'll find out what happened to her in the AU soon enough, though it will be painful for both her and Asas. I'm having real problems writing Asas by the way, anybody got any pointers on how to write a good Sasuke? Asas might be an AU version, they've still got plenty in common, and I'm having problems accurately portraying his personality. He just seems too... cheerful somehow. Oh well. Untill next time.

Madork Gunna.


	7. Crystal user

So, finally done revising. I didn't have to change as much as I feared to make it less OC-centric (read K.U.-centric). Here goes chapter 7. On a side note, while a character may have a hard time in my stories every now and then, I don't bash. If somebody is a repeated victim of my jokes, it just sucks to be them.

* * *

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* * *

When they woke up, it had been due to a rather surprised outcry from the top of the tent. Kakashi was out first, followed by Asas and Kiba. Upon seeing no one, as one, they turned to K.U.. Due to it being approximately 5:30 in the morning, they were not pleased.

"Okay, this'd better be good or you're gonna have a little in-field remodelling done with Ripper." Asas growled.

"Oh, it's good alright. Remember my radar got roasted? Well, I fixed it, and somewhere in the last eight hours or so a massive crystal formation has popped up not three miles from here." K.U. answered.

"Crystals? Are you sure?" Kakashi asked, something in the back of his mind itching.

"Yeah, they must be huge if I can sense them so far away. They're of the same kind in the ground round here, only bigger. A lot bigger." K.U. replied. Suddenly it came to Kakashi. A crystal user. He'd heard rumours of them, being able to crystallise anything they touched, or, with some preparation, turn an entire area into one giant crystal. If they were dealing with one of those...

* * *

Later that morning, the medics arrived. Shizune headed the small group, consisting of her, Ino and Sakura.

"Morning! Anybody out here?" Shizune shouted as they came across the clearing described to them in Kakashi's letter. It was empty, but suddenly a part of it distorted, as if it was submerged in water. Scant seconds later, a tipi appeared as the illusion protecting it dispelled. Kakashi stepped out.

"Good morning to you too. The wounded are in here, and me, Asas, Kiba and Akamaru are scouting an area that caught our attention, so we'll be back-" The shadow clone was dispelled suddenly by the real Kakashi.

"Right now. Ino, Sakura, please take care of the wounded in the tent. Shizune, I need to show you something."

"Yo! Over here!" Kiba shouted as he spotted Shizune and Kakashi approaching. The field was filled with numerous giant crystals, each containing what once were presumably humans.

"What the-? How?" Shizune gasped.

"A crystal user I think. Can they be healed?" Kakashi said to her before turning to Asas and Kiba.

"Anything?"

"Well, we managed to find a scent trail leading away from here, of a group of about five people. They weren't normal scents, though, only two of them were completely human, the other three were... different somehow."

"Mutants, just like the rest here I think." Asas said, appearing behind them.

"You!" Shizune had been briefed on Asas and who he looked like, but it was not the same as seeing him in the flesh. Her look of fear and anger wasn't lost on Asas

"Yeah, me. Guess my other self screwed you over too?" he said, smiling friendly. She relaxed a little, and went to check on the crystallised experiments. After just a moments check, she shook her head.

"They're dead. The crystal continues on inside the body, meaning that the moment they got encased they died." She shivered, this was a gruesome way to go, even after everything she had seen as medic nin.

"At least it was painless." she said, stepping back.

"So, now what?" Asas asked. "I mean, we can't just leave them-" At that moment, a gust of wind blew over the field, shattering the crystals. Asas opened his mouth to say something, couldn't decide what, and shut his mouth again and finally settled on looking nonplussed. Kiba looked at Kakashi.

"Scent trail then?" he said.

"No. Shizune, tell the Hinata, Shino and K.U. to come here, we're going to go on with our original mission. You should be fine." Kakashi said to her.

"Okay. Good luck." Shizune said before heading back.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Shino, K.U. and Hinata arrived.

What are we going to do?" Shino asked.

"Resume our original mission." Kakashi said. "Kiba, take point, Asas, you're centre, Shino, K.U., you are taking flanks and Hinata you're covering the rear." They nodded and set out in a diamond-shaped formation, Kakashi staying next to Asas.

"Upset?" Kakashi asked.

"About what? She doesn't trust me, big deal. I wouldn't trust myself further than I could spit a rat." Asas said, though Kakashi saw just a flash of a grimace.

"Do not worry. Once you get to know them a little better they'll see you in a different light."

"Are you sure they'll be able to tell the difference?"

"Oh yes. The other you wouldn't even try." Kakashi said. Asas looked puzzled.

"Gee, I really am a total moron." he said. Kiba and K.U. snorted, Hinata stifled a giggle and Kakashi and Shino raised an eyebrow.

_'Okay, that was dumb, even for me.' _Asas thought, embarrassed. Then he realised that for the first time in this universe people were completely comfortable around him. He smiled, thinking that maybe Kakashi was right.

* * *

It happened fast. The ambush was well organised, the attackers were onto them in an instant and before he knew it Asas was having a sniping contest with a man with a gatling cannon on one arm. He peered around his cover towards where he had last seen his opponent. It was quiet in this part of the forest. Too quiet. No birds, no insects, nothing. Silence reigned. A twig snapped under his foot as Asas moved, and he froze, fully expecting a barrage of fire. Nothing happened though, and Asas was about to resume hunting when was interrupted.

"Asas, you there?" Kakashi's voice rang out over the radio, startling Asas causing him to fire a shot.

"I'm fine. You nearly gave me a heart attack though. I think my opponent is gone, how are things at your end?" Asas said. With a little fiddling, his radio could tune in on the same frequencies as the portable radios issued to shinobi's.

"All of ours have gone too. I think-" Kakashi's voice was interrupted by a loud rumble and an earthquake, causing Asas to fall down.

"What the hell? You feel that?" Asas said surprised.

"Everyone felt that. Regroup where the fight started, I think the enemy is planning something."

"Um, I might have a problem regrouping."

"Why?"

"Because I just spotted someone who I don't like the look of. Woman, dark purple hair, medium height, about twenty-five by the looks of it. Wearing one heck of a slasher's smile and headed to the rendezvous point. Intercept?"

"I'm not familiar with anyone looking like that. Be careful, she might be one of the experiments."

"She looks normal, I'm going in. Wish me luck."

* * *

Guren was in a good mood. Now she could prove herself worthy of Orochimaru-sama! With the successful capture of the three-tails, which she planned to host herself, as well as killing these Konoha pests, surely he would see her potential! Granted, she might have to wait a couple of years while that Uchiha held her master's spirit, but then finally he would take her. Now to deal with the matter at hand though, starting with that genin hiding in the bushes. She raised a crystal in defence, not even bothering to check the kind of attack, when she sensed the tell-tale chakra spike that preceded an attack made by any person not hiding his or her signature well.

"Is that the best-" she started to taunt, before being interrupted by a loud, dry bang. Her crystal shattered due to the force of the attack, and she barely jumped out of the way of the follow up that tore through the air she had occupied moments before.

_'What was that? He didn't use any chakra techniques, I would have sensed that. But what else could be so powerful?' _she thought. Meanwhile, her attacker had come out of hiding, wearing the strangest set of armour Guren had ever seen. A full face helmet with a reflective surface where the eyes should be covered his head, while a modified flak jacket with plating protected the torso. His(?) arms and legs were protected by black plates similar to those on the jacket. Stranger still was the weapon in his hands, smoke coming out of the small tube in front. But the strangest thing of all was that while the attacker apparently had the hiding capabilities of a genin, he had the senses of a jonin, as he was looking at her right now through dense cover.

* * *

Underneath his faceplate, Asas smirked as he saw the look of utter confusion on the woman's face. Thermal vision was an alien concept here, so only specialised snake hunters such as Jiraiya had bothered to develop techniques to hide their heat signature. While he normally hated killing humans, all indications were that this b*** was involved with that death camp, and therefore no longer completely human in his regard. Taking aim again, she hopped out of the way before he could pull the trigger, showering his position with... snowflakes? Switching to normal vision after jumping out of the way, he discovered that the things thrown at him looked like snowflakes, but were in fact crystal shuriken.

"What the-" his outcry of amazement was interrupted by another set of snowflake shuriken, and he was forced to jump out of the way again. Realising that hiding was impossible, the both of them jumped out of cover into a clearing, facing each other in a Mexican standoff. Neither really knew what the other was capable of, other than that it was incredibly lethal.

"So, we gonna exchange taunts or do you want to just cut the crap and get straight down to the nitty-gritty?" Asas asked.

"Insolent brat. Looks like I'll have to show you how far below me you are!" the woman said defiantly

"That implies you would be able to lay a finger on me."

"Pah! You insolent brat-"

"Is that the best you can come up with?"

"For a distraction it w

* * *

orks fine." she said smirking. Asas eyes widened and he turned quickly to avoid the sharp blade of a clone wielding a crystal blade that seemingly grew directly out of the arm. Blocking the downward slash, he activated his chainsaw bayonet, creating a shower of sparks as the whirring sawblades bit into the hardened crystal. He moved away, and shot the clone as it tried to close in again. Surprised by the attack, the clone barely registered what hit it before disintegrating. Asas whipped around, finding the woman gone, again. Searching with thermal, he found her heading off towards the rendevous point, a rock formation already between them. Cursing, he activated his radio.

"Kakashi? She got away, heading towards you now. Be advised, she uses the crystals as weap-urk."

"Asas, what happened? Asas?"

* * *

//////////

* * *

A/N: Well, later folks. Next chapter will feature an exploding head.

**Omake**

After waiting for and hour and a half, Shino and Hinata appeared.

"Where's K.U.?" Asas asked.

"He said he would arrive via other means." Shino said.

"Other means?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, they could hear shouting from somewhere far away.

"HOW DARE YOU COLLAPSE THAT TENT ON US YOU-" A resounding thud finished the answer, and five seconds later K.U. could be seen flying towards their position.

Pulling himself out of the crater he made on impact, K.U. looked up at them.

"Well, next time please ask for the guy who isn't holding Pink Banshee's tent together."


	8. Meeting Sakura, take two

Well, seeing as I now have to study for my Bachelor and I've just moved out of my parents house, I'm going to be really, really slow updating stuff. Sorry my dear readers, maintaining a house and studying just takes a lot of time.

**[=\/=]**

"Asas, what happened? Asas?" Kakashi said. Silence reigned. K.U. decided to check on the opponents progress, activating his radar. The subsequent overload caused a lot of sparks to fly out of his head in a spectacular fashion.

"OW! What the hell?" he exclaimed, losing his balance. The only way that could have happened was if...

"Guys, we're surrounded somehow by that same crystal those other guys were encased in." As an after thought, he added, "Oh, and by the way, that little light show left me blind and deaf, so I can't hear a thing you're saying. Gimme a couple of minutes to fix myself, I'll be alright."

"Defensive formation, Kiba, hide K.U." Kakashi ordered quickly. After stuffing K.U. underneath a nearby bush, Kiba formed a ring with the rest of the team, backs towards each other. Straining their individual senses, the group tried to pick up where their attacker would be coming from.

"Southeast, bearing directly towards us." Kiba whispered as he picked up a scent. Hinata focused her Byakugan.

"It's a seemingly normal woman, with jonin-level chakra reserves. There's something on her wrist, it looks like that crystal we found earlier." she said.

"Oh, let me correct you, dear, it is the crystal you saw earlier. Do you like my work?" a voice rang out. On a tree branch, Guren stood, smiling evilly. "I certainly hope so," she said, a blade formed on her wrist, "because you're about to become part of it." The group jumped apart just in time to avoid a huge crystal sprouting from the ground beneath them. Immediately several copies of Guren came out of hiding, engaging the team members separately and preventing them from regrouping.

Kiba dodged the first few swipes of the blade before capitalizing on an opening. Quickly stepping inside Guren's guard, he landed a devastating uppercut on her jaw, knocking her back and setting her up for the follow up.

"**Fang over Fang**!"

Guren jumped out of the way of the lethal tornado, only to be taken by surprise by a second tornado catching her in the back. Or so it seemed until she was replaced by a puff of smoke and a wooden log.

"What's the matter, can't hit a girl?" she mocked.

"What, are you a girl then?" Kiba retorted. A rain of hauntingly beautiful yet extremely deadly crystal spikes and a scream of rage were the answer.

"Sheesh, can't take a joke can you?" Kiba muttered as he barely dodged.

Pain. It was all his world existed of at the moment. A red hot iron poker was stuck in his lungs, being twisted around every time he breathed. He was glad for it. The pain meant he was still alive, and as long as he was alive, his comrades would get him. All he had to do in the meantime was just stay alive, put one foot in front of the other and keep breathing.

Step. Breathe. Repeat.

Gradually, he became aware of something else. Noises, sounds of battle coming from somewhere up ahead. Focussing, he could make out moving shapes in the distance. With a supreme effort of will, and using a nearby tree as a support, he sighted up the two combatants. One, he vaguely recognized as friendly and the other as hostile, but his loss of blood made it hard to focus. Breathe in. Breathe out. It appeared as if the friendly had won, but the hostile one had used an escape technique of sorts and was sneaking up from behind. It was a hard shot to make under normal circumstances, with all the objects in the way and the friendly so nearby, but he had to do it. Breathing in one last time, Asas aimed Ripper and squeezed the trigger.

Hinata was proud of herself, she, as chunin, had defeated a jonin level opponent without even a scratch on her person. She was about to confirm the kill when she froze. Standing not thirty meters away from her was Asas, with his strange weapon pointed right at her. Before she could do anything, the front of Ripper exploded sending something whizzing past her ear into a very surprised Guren clone. The thing that really made her freeze though was the fact that sticking out of Asas' side, just below his heart, was a two feet long crystal blade. Weakly, he held up his hand in a v sign, and then collapsed. Scant seconds later she was rushing the mortally wounded soldier to the group when overhead the giant crystal suddenly shattered, and Kakashi called over the radio.

"Relief is here, head count?"

"I am fine, but Asas is with me and heavily wounded!" Hinata replied quickly.

There was a familiar fog over his mind. Morphine. Why this time again? Oh yeah, freaky crystal bitch. Her clones had the same temperature as their surroundings, and therefore didn't show up on thermal imaging gear. Asas literally got stabbed out of the blue, only realizing what had happened when he switched back to normal vision after a confusing amount of pain pierced his chest. In the shock of getting stabbed, his brain had clung to a vague sense of purpose, namely get help. It was something drilled into him before he even gotten his hands on Ripper. Cracking open one eye, he tried to figure out where he the hell he was. He was on the forest floor, someone with pink hair was floating over his head. He knew that face from somewhere… Asas decided to ask his standard wake-up question.

"Am I-" he stopped in mid-sentence. Suppressed memories of a battlefield long ago came back to him. The girl had noticed he was awake by now, and was checking his pupils.

"Hey." Asas said hoarsely. She didn't return the greeting.

"How are you feeling?" she asked in a clipped tone.

"Okay I guess. Left lung hurts, but I guess that's natural when you get stabbed."

"Hm. Sit up please." she said, preparing a syringe. Asas did so.

"You know, you haven't really changed that much as an angel." he said. She froze mid-action.

"W-What?"

"Mithridates campaign. First deployment over New Colchis." he said, "Come on, you remember right? I remember, clear as yesterday…"

_They were assigned to take and hold the industrial sector of the city, and while the former was surprisingly easy, the latter proved to be more of a challenge. Already an entire platoon was en route to just their position alone, and the bravo and gamma positions were facing the same kind of firepower. The preliminary attack consisted of a high precision bombing run by VTOL gunships._

_"Cover!" Sgt. Nara shouted. Hurriedly the entire squad did so, the tell-tale shriek of the enemy's engines providing enough motivation for even the lazy officer to hurry up._

_"Specialist, can you give me numbers, over?" Shikamaru asked when everyone had bunkered down._

_"Going by radio chatter, five. Chance of sixth gunship approaching stealthily: Negligible. Use of Phoenix missiles is not recommended against this number of hostiles, over." responded K.U., dedicated sniper for this mission._

_"Copy. Alright boys, you heard the soup can, wait for five of them bug brains to pass, then back to first base." Shikamaru replied, even as the first pair of missiles streaked overhead and wiped out a dummy machine-gun nest. Several decoy drones sped away, simulating wounded or fleeing soldiers. They too vanished in greasy flames. As quickly as it had started, it was over. The gunships passed, sunlight reflecting of their canopies, and then they were gone. Asas released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Shaking, he stood up from his hiding place, and ran towards his designated foxhole inside an old warehouse. Already Naruto was there setting up the squad's heavy support, and Asas couldn't help but grin: Naruto actually had a lot of skill with the heavy machine-gun when it came down to it, even though he laughed madly and shouted phrases like 'One of these bullets has your name on it, and I'm gonna keep shooting till I find out __which__one__!' every time he pulled the trigger._

_The last of their little team joined them; a pink haired female by the name of Sakura. Asas and Naruto hadn't met her until the briefing, so immediately they reverted to 'professional mode': no need to let her think they were rookies (even though all of them were)._

_"According to command the enemy should be here in fifteen seconds." she whispered. They tensed; it was to be their first true battle. Soon enough, the low grunts of the aliens could be heard as they checked for opposition. The first rounded the corner; and Hell was unleashed._

_"Dakkaaah!" Naruto screamed as he sighted up target after target. Asas and Sakura picked off individual targets he missed, supporting him as best they could. Suddenly, a rocket screamed towards their position. There was no time to react as it slammed into an overhead beam, loosening it and sending it crashing down upon them._

_Coughing to clear the dust from his lungs, Asas checked on his teammates._

_"Everyone okay?" he called out._

_"They killed my gun! My gun!" Naruto shouted as if he'd lost a leg._

_"Okay, you're fine. Sakura?" Asas said, looking around for his pink haired teammate._

_"This… isn't good right?" said a weak, surprised voice from off the floor. A piece of shrapnel had punctured her vest, and Sakura was staring at the blood on her hand with disbelief._

_"Oh shit. Um, we need help. Relax, it'll be fine. Medic!" Naruto shouted the last word over his radio._

_"Busy but on the way! Can you send backup to Bravo in the meantime?" came the reply. Asas and Naruto looked at one another for a second._

_"I'll go." said Naruto, and he sprinted out. Asas smiled at Sakura._

_"Hang on in there eh? We'll get out of here together alright." he said more confidently than he felt._

_"Promise?" she asked wide eyed._

_"Promise." he replied. Their radios crackled to life._

_"Shit! Sasuke, inbound at your position, at least a dozen of 'em!" said Naruto's voice._

_"I got them!" Asas replied, readying himself. He was surprised when another barrel appeared next to his own. Hoisting herself up onto the ruined machine-gun platform Sakura positioned herself so that she could easily duck in and out of cover without irritating her wound._

_"You sure you want to do that?" asked Asas. She gave him a weak but determined nod._

_"So… who gets most of 'em buys the other a drink?" Asas said, electing a smile from her._

_The enemy came, and the fight was on. Every now and again, Asas called out to his teammate, shouting encouragements, battle-cries, tactics and whatnot. Eventually the battlefield quieted. Looking through the fog of war, Asas spied no more movement. He turned to Sakura._

_"There. Told you we'd be okay." he said smiling. "Got six of the bastards. And you?"_

_"A-Also six." was the weak reply, but she smiled as she said it. Shuffling a little, she cringed as the steel shard moved around inside her._

_"Wow, careful, careful. Medics will be here soon, relax now." Asas said quickly moving to support her._

_"Okay." she said. All of a sudden her eyes widened, and with a speed that belied her injuries she raised her rifle and shot the alien about to ambush them. It looked surprised at the large hole were it's chest used to be a second earlier before dropping down dead._

_"What the! Thanks Sakura…! Sakura?" Asas said. She was lying on the ground in a pool of her life fluids, the sudden movement having ripped her wound open further. Too far open, even Asas' layman's eyes could see that._

_"Got seven… Guess… I win. Bye… Sasuke…" she said, a slight smile on her face. Her rifle clattered to the ground and her eyes started glazing over._

_"I… feel cold… so… cold…" she whispered._

_"No. God no. Don't-Don't do this, don't die on me! Come on! SAKURA!"_

"Had a nasty case of shell-shock then, it was the first time I ever had someone on my squad die. But I guess… I got a second chance now, to keep you safe. I'll try not to mess up this time." Asas finished. Sakura remained silent.

"So… everything is fine now?" she asked quietly after a while.

"Beg pardon?" Asas said confused.

"You just barge in here like nothing happened and pretend that just because you knew her for a bit automatically means I feel the same way? That I should be happy?"

"You're losing me here…"

"You… You asshole!"

"Say what? What's going on, what am I missing?" Asas said, propping himself up on one elbow and trying to look at Sakura's face. She backed away.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE?" She shrieked all of a sudden, angry and crying. "You tossed me away, like a nobody. You called me annoying, useless, a piece of trash! You expect me to forget that? To forgive all those things you did to me?"

"That wasn't me!"

"You wear the same face! You have the same voice!" she screamed, and added in a whisper, "You even evoke the same feelings…"

"I-"

"What? What do you want to do? What can you do? What can you possibly say to make up for everything you did?" Sakura was truly hysterical now.

"Sakura, I'm sorry." Asas said softly.

She looked up with teary eyes, trying to find any traces of a lie in his eyes. She found none. After a short silence he looked away, shifting uncomfortably under her gaze.

"You really aren't him, are you?" she asked quietly, no longer feeling the need nor the energy to shout.

"No, I'm not." he replied. She shifted to a different position, wrapping her arms around her knees as she leaned against a tree.

"I'm just so confused. You are the same on the outside, but on the inside you're completely different. Even in my dreams, I just don't know if I want you, the other, or a mix of you two…" her voice trailed off.

"Well, one is impossible, the other is a maybe, but the first is willing." Asas said. She looked up in surprise, and he blushed a bit as he smiled.

"If you'll have me." he added. It happened so fast he only registered what happened after she was on top of him mashing her lips against his.

**[_/=\_]**


End file.
